O Gardenburgers, How I Miss Thine Rapturous Ways...

I miss Gardenburgers. The staff of life, the bloodline to joy and health and all things wondrous and good. I also miss granola bars and jalapenos that are actually hot, and not just sad sliced pickled bits. Anyhow, I've (somewhat) successfully recreated the former here in Siberia, and they turned out not too bad! Did you know there's a recipe online for pretty much every single kind of packaged food or famous restaurant item? (And did you also know that Oreo filling is just shortening and white sugar?)

Start with kidney beans, oatmeal, onions, red peppers, bulgur wheat, cottage cheese, mushrooms, carrots and stuff:



Whirled in the food processor for a wee spell:



Shape into patties and broil. NUM! MERS!



I also made granola bars, and they were pretty darned delicious, too, although they did lack the all-important cohesion factor. However, I have deduced that eating granola "bars" from a pan with a spoon is just as tasty as the real thing.