It all started a few nights ago when I was enthusiastically informed that there was going to be a surprise that evening. I do love surprises, folks, especially when they look like this:
Mmmm-MMM. Indeed, you will never see me turn down a meat tube, hot off the tall smoking thing. Stupendous. Unfortunately, the surprise turned out to be this:
Simply put, ladies and gentlemen, no me gusta. I did not gusta this one teeny tiny bit. It was deafening, smelly, people were shouting -- it was complete chaos, folks. Apparently this was a staging of a historic battle between the invading Germans and Dutch and the defending Danes. (So they were maybe short a few dozen ships that night, but this was a DRAMATIC RE-ENACTMENT, people. Please try to not be so literal.) I was quite upset, understandably -- there were numerous explosions in the air, the water, out of ships and cannons and it was all so frightful and terrible that I will stop here for now. Please take my word for it: I hope you never have to endure the misery of a summer maritime festival conclusion such as this.
Still, sometimes life's greatest struggles yield the sweetest of rewards. Like some cozy time with my bewitching Nylabone Liver Flavor Bone for Powerful Chewers.
When God created liver-flavored plastic, He really got it right. Absolutely sublime, and I highly recommend keeping one on hand for stressful situations.
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