Workaday World

For the past few weeks, I've been subbing a bit at a wonderful little school here in town, and it's been completely fascinating and a hilarious experience so far. My background is working mainly with older kids (ages 14-18), but sometimes I'm with the wee ones (ages 5-9), which is a mindblower in itself. It's been a long time for me since tears and boogers were a normal part of interpersonal communication.

Today, I came in for an hour and a half to help with a bon voyage party for one of the older students who was moving away. No sad faces, just some goodbye cards scribbled on graph paper. Someone had blown up about 40 balloons, which were bopped around like beach balls until someone got the brilliant idea to start stomping on them. Then, a tray of hotdogs appeared out of nowhere, followed by egg rolls, and so the group of nine students (ages 13-16) sat around and shoved hotdogs into their mouths and played Green Day on a laptop computer. That was when they started begging to go home.

"Home?? I thought you guys were having FUN!!"

"We are! But we're BORED!!!"

It was about an hour from the end of the school day, so we cut a deal: They could go outside, but not home. Fair enough. The gal who was leaving tried to get Capture the Flag going, but no takers, so I suggested Red Rover, Red Rover, which they'd never heard of. It was like I'd given each kid a loaded rocket launcher. They. Went. NUTS. I guess when you're 14, RR, RR can be just about the most exciting thing ever, because you must 1) run, 2) scream, 3) be mildy violent and 4) grudgingly hold hands with all of your mad crushes (that you outwardly hate). YAY! Win-win!

For one of their classes, they have been working on research projects. The boys have read a portion of "The Godfather" and are researching the mafia, while the girls have been reading a book called "Supermodels." Yes. It's an in-depth look into the lives of today's supermodels, one of whom they will select and individually research in earnest. I can't tear myself away from this slim volume; I'm completely captivated. Here are a few choice verbatim excerpts:

CINDY CRAWFORD
Famous for: A smart model
Cindy was a smart student. After high school, she went to college in Chicago. She got 100% on one test there.

CLAUDIA SCHIFFER
Famous for: A great smile
Claudia was with David Copperfield, but they separated after six years. Now, she is going to marry Tim Jeffries. He was with Elle Macpherson before Claudia!

LINDA EVANGELISTA
Famous for: Short hair
Linda married a modeling agent when she was young. He was an older man. They separated after six years.

KATE MOSS
Famous for: Very thin
Kate Moss wasn't always happy. When she left the hospital, she found a new BMW at her house. It was from her old boyfriend, Johnny Depp. She went out for a drive. When she was out, a fire started in her apartment.

You see why I'm transfixed?